[______Be The One______BoA Rocks My World______Be The One______]

| LSCT FORUMS | May | Junius | Minghui | Eugene | Huda | Andrew Teo | Pamela | Rachael | Sammie | Fiona | Florence | V|ru5 Jie | Kim | BabySpark a.k.a. Ann | Sherry | Icy_Baby Jie | Crystal Xiaomei | Applegal Jie | Kuromi | Jap`wawa | Sarah | Joann | Emmy | Fiona | Deki Kor | Bo Yiting | Estella Applepie~~! | PinkVixen | Siti | Michelle | Yang Wei Ting | Stephen | SINO nephew | Serene jie~~~! | Jeanette | Jasmine (E149) | PeiXuan | Evangeline | Seow Wei a.k.a. Princess Peanuts | friend | friend |

-Now Playing-
<bgsound src="http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/1/3/588586/06%20Elevate%20Your%20Name.wma" loop="infinite"> Artist: CHC Band
Song title: Elevate Your Name
Album title: Light of the City
New Music
Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hatred

Hatred, such a destructive feeling, along with the other negative feelings like fear and anger. They are like a raging fire that consumes until there is nothing left to consume, leaving the person empty. yet, i find this to be true... some of them have hatreds craved so deep into their hearts that they live, only to hate... they form relationships only so that they can hate people more when things go sour or not to their expectations... they were empty, but they only want to find new sources to continue a life of hatred... it's only a matter of time b4 the hatred spreads to others and cause cycle after cycle after cycle...

i know of this friend... who has such deep hatred for those ard him/her... he/she hated many people ard him/her b4... now, those hatred has burnt out... but he/she found new hatreds... juz bcos of something small... something that is easily settled and resolved, yet ignited such a hatred within him/her that he/she wants to break away... such a person has left a huge emotional toll on me as i tried time n time again to talk to him/her, only to fall on deaf ears... same things i spoke again n again...yet not caught in the spirit... really leaves me emotionally drained... that sometimes i really just want to drop everything n leave everything behind...

yet this hatred wasn't present in this person when i 1st knew him/her. this person was a person who was ready to help those in need n do things to forge relationships... i knew this person for a long time. this hatred was only carved when things started to go sour after the O levels. got rejected from poly, got kicked out of ITE, felt used by a 3 year long GF, family problems, taught values that caused his/her mentality n thinking to be so negative... this person was one of the 1st few people who introduced me to church, but now... a totally different person altogether... really really really feel heartache... the only thing i do for this person... is to pray that.... God will be with this person and released from the hatred....

"How I wish to go to a Place where There is only Peace, Happiness and Love. The World I'm in Now has None of These. Only Pain, Misery and Suffering and My Life is Full of Them. Such is Life for me. Such is Destiny. How I Want to be Free from The Tyranny of Physical Existance."


The Jedi Code:
"There is No Emotion, There is Peace.
There is No Ignorance, There is Knowledge.
There is No Passion, There is Serenity.
There is No Chaos, There is Harmony.
There is No Death, There is The Force."

The Sith Code:
"Peace is a Lie, There is only Passion.
Through Passion, I Gain Strength.
Through Strength, i Gain Power.
Through Power, i Gain Victory.
Through Victory, My Chains Are Broken.
The Force will Free me...."

Labels:

My Heart Bled
4/26/2009 01:34:00 AM


Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Promptings
I have this feeling in my heart that the years of my uni studies is going to be one of my most trying period in my christian walk. Mainly is because i maynot be able to spend much time with my cell group members as well as not being able to serve in the church. I really have to prepare myself and my spirit man for this coming times.

"How I wish to go to a Place where There is only Peace, Happiness and Love. The World I'm in Now has None of These. Only Pain, Misery and Suffering and My Life is Full of Them. Such is Life for me. Such is Destiny. How I Want to be Free from The Tyranny of Physical Existance."

The Jedi Code:
"There is No Emotion, There is Peace.
There is No Ignorance, There is Knowledge.
There is No Passion, There is Serenity.
There is No Chaos, There is Harmony.
There is No Death, There is The Force."

The Sith Code:
"Peace is a Lie, There is only Passion.
Through Passion, I Gain Strength.
Through Strength, i Gain Power.
Through Power, i Gain Victory.
Through Victory, My Chains Are Broken.
The Force will Free me...."

Labels:

My Heart Bled
9/23/2008 10:50:00 PM


Sunday, September 14, 2008
Bleeding Heart (II)

It has been so long since it happened, but yet i still weep for it. I am not weeping for lost love or what, it didn't even happen. What i am weeping for is a friendship that has gone cold. Gone are those times whereby we could openly share things... Gone are the days of such an open and close friendship... I really missed those times...

Today was the sub-zone's Mid-Autumn Festival Celebration. Though i had great fun with the friends and fellow members, i was still disturbed deep down. On the exterior, i may look composed and fine... but deep down, i am desperately trying to hold myself together... There were only 3 times i wept when i was outside, but at home, i wept countless times... I value friendship even more than going into a relationship, because friendships are what keeps me going on... If i have to risk losing the friendship just to get into the relationship... I rather not get into it at all... Perhaps, i might not be having the intention for a long time to come... I need to focus on other things that are coming before settling this "fortress" that once again has been raised in me...

"How I wish to go to a Place where There is only Peace, Happiness and Love. The World I'm in Now has None of These. Only Pain, Misery and Suffering and My Life is Full of Them. Such is Life for me. Such is Destiny. How I Want to be Free from The Tyranny of Physical Existance."

The Jedi Code:
"There is No Emotion, There is Peace.
There is No Ignorance, There is Knowledge.
There is No Passion, There is Serenity.
There is No Chaos, There is Harmony.
There is No Death, There is The Force."

The Sith Code:
"Peace is a Lie, There is only Passion.
Through Passion, I Gain Strength.
Through Strength, i Gain Power.
Through Power, i Gain Victory.
Through Victory, My Chains Are Broken.
The Force will Free me...."

Labels:

My Heart Bled
9/14/2008 01:32:00 AM


Monday, September 08, 2008
Vision, Revelation
It's funny how sometimes God makes us remember what He spoke to us. I remembered sometime back, i attended one particular Combined cell group meeting. After Cliff finished preaching the word, he lead us into a time of ministry. I remember it was a practice about stepping out in faith. It was during that time he prophesied to me that God is going to raise me up to do great things for Him. Looking back at the time that passed, i realised that God has brought me so far.
I grew up in ST. Andrew's School (Primary and Secondary), an anglican school. At that time, i didn't know anything about God or Jesus. I even responded to an altar call that i didn't even know what was it about. It was only in Secondary 2 then things started to be different. As i was on my way home from school, my then-primary school vice-principle caught up with me and talked to me about the bible and who Jesus really is. That was when i really gave my heart to Jesus, and thus born the desire to serve Him wholeheartedly. After my vice-principle lead me into the Sinner's Prayer, he said:"Do you know why i talked to you about Jesus? It's because God, at that particular time, told me to talk to you and bring you into his kingdom." At that time, i didn't thought much about it. Now come to think of it, God really loved me and had planned a great destiny for me. I couldn't go and attend a church because my parents objected to it, it was only in poly year 2 then i could go to church. I've to say that it was only through church service, cell group meetings and discipleship, i was moulded to be more christ-like.
Looking back at my history, i'm really glad that i was brought back into the kingdom of God. if it wasn't this way, i can't even visualize what i would be right now. I might even end up dead, leaving behind brokenhearts, unrealised visions and dreams and, most importantly, what God has planned for my life and the destiny that was to unfold in front of my very eyes. Thank you Jesus. God has stood by me and saw me through both good and bad times, He truely is faithful. The Verse below is really what has kept me going.

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV)

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Some problems that we faced were meant to strengthen us, not destroy us. We just need to look at things the God-perspective. To futher add-on,

Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Just by this alone, i know i just simply need to rely on the Holy Spirit and Follow where He prompts me to. This is what God wants us to do. God, i'm wholeheartedly willing to do your will. Let your Will be done, On earth as it is in Heaven.

Labels:

My Heart Bled
9/08/2008 01:18:00 AM


Friday, September 05, 2008
The Past
Oh God... Please Don't let it happen again... The Pain is coming back... I pray for your strength, to help overcome this pain... please, oh God... I didn't go this path in the past because of this same pain, Oh Lord... Please, give me the strength to overcome it... I need a Breakthrough in this area, Father...

"How I wish to go to a Place where There is only Peace, Happiness and Love. The World I'm in Now has None of These. Only Pain, Misery and Suffering and My Life is Full of Them. Such is Life for me. Such is Destiny. How I Want to be Free from The Tyranny of Physical Existance."

The Jedi Code:
"There is No Emotion, There is Peace.
There is No Ignorance, There is Knowledge.
There is No Passion, There is Serenity.
There is No Chaos, There is Harmony.
There is No Death, There is The Force."

The Sith Code:
"Peace is a Lie, There is only Passion.
Through Passion, I Gain Strength.
Through Strength, i Gain Power.
Through Power, i Gain Victory.
Through Victory, My Chains Are Broken.
The Force will Free me...."

Labels:

My Heart Bled
9/05/2008 04:14:00 PM


Sunday, July 27, 2008
A Song Of Consecration
Right now, i m feeling very down. but i only want to sing this song to God.
HATI HAMBA (ENGLISH)
STANDING IN AWE OF YOUR GRACE
SETTING MY FEET IN YOUR WAYS
ENTERING INTO YOUR PRESCENCE
TO BEHOLD YOU FACE TO FACE
GOD OF ALL HEAVEN AND EARTH
HOLDING ME IN YOUR EMBRACE
UNFAILING LOVE THAT SURROUNDS ME
OH.... GOD I STAND AMAZED
MY JESUS MY LORD
YOU'RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
WHEREVER YOU GO
WANNA BE BY YOUR SIDE
NO LONGER I
BUT CHRIST LIVING IN ME
SERVING YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY
MY EYES SET ON YOU
IN THIS RACE THAT I RUN
NO LONGER MY WAYS
LET YOUR WILL BE DONE
MAKE ME A SERVANT
MY HEART'S EVER TRUE
CLINGING TO THE CROSS
I'LL FOLLOW YOU
I'LL FOLLOW YOU
I now live not for anyone, I am living only for God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
A Life For God

"Let the Joy of the Lord Be Your Strength."

Labels:

My Heart Bled
7/27/2008 12:41:00 AM


Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Tears....
Tears... tears of saddness... tears of anguish... tears of bitterness... tears of hurt... tears of pain...
how i want all this to end... God, please take it all away... i'm weak... only you can make me strong... only you can heal me... only you know me from the deepest and darkest place of my heart... the place which i have never let anyone into... a place where i have kept myself protected... a place that i have buried deep within a shell of outward strength... barriers of protection that keeps me from being hurt... isolating me from being able to share my feelings with even my friends... though i may seem strong on the outside... but i m crying inside... i feel so broken...

"How I wish to go to a Place where There is only Peace, Happiness and Love. The World I'm in Now has None of These. Only Pain, Misery and Suffering and My Life is Full of Them. Such is Life for me. Such is Destiny. How I Want to be Free from The Tyranny of Physical Existance."

The Jedi Code:
"There is No Emotion, There is Peace.
There is No Ignorance, There is Knowledge.
There is No Passion, There is Serenity.
There is No Chaos, There is Harmony.
There is No Death, There is The Force."

The Sith Code:
"Peace is a Lie, There is only Passion.
Through Passion, I Gain Strength.
Through Strength, i Gain Power.
Through Power, i Gain Victory.
Through Victory, My Chains Are Broken.
The Force will Free me...."

Labels:

My Heart Bled
7/09/2008 10:34:00 PM


_Tagboard here*_
`da superstar
+name: Edmund Chua Chim Chuan
+age: 23
+stage name: Spartan85 on IRC
+loves: The Lord, Friends, Badminton, Taiwanese Variety Shows, Japanese Animes and Songs By BoA
+dislikes: Backstabbers
+favorite numbers :even numbers
+favourite colors: green, blue, silver, and someother colours...
+hobbies: play games, watch anime...loving the Lord

`his wishlist
+To see The Lord one day
+A 3G phone(Done!)
+My other Half
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for
+whatever you wish for

`her mood
-Your mood:

credits-+
Jackie